this is amazing
So this has been gnawing away at me for days now. Just running through my head, time and time again. I think I need an outlet, so for now, this is it. I don’t understand how someone can be such a disgusting person. How someone can actually treat another person like I was treated. Now that I’m away from it all, it’s just become so clear how badly I was treated and the disrespect that was subjected onto me. The worse thing is, I did ABSOLUTELY nothing to deserve it. That’s what i realise now. I did nothing wrong. It was all him. All that time I was blaming myself.
Just don’t cry, he’ll get angry at you. Don’t voice anything you have a problem with, he’ll ignore you. Don’t even think about wanting to ask for a lift, he’ll complain about it and expect everything in return for something that should be done out of kindness anyway. But whatever you do, don’t be upset. Just don’t. If you show him you’re upset it’ll just make everything worse. And shit, don’t be stressed about school and want to talk about your worries. He won’t listen. If he does listen, he won’t care. So stop trying. Stop fucking trying. Just be there for him when he feels like he has no one. Just keep giving him money because he spends all of his own on unneeded things like alcohol, keep giving him sex, keep letting him fall asleep when he promised you that he’d take you out. Make yourself look pretty for him.
I am so angry at myself. I don’t know how I could possibly let myself do this. How I allowed myself to be treated like this. Why. It’s come back to haunt me. It’s tearing away at my conscious half the time I’m awake. But why only now? Why after a month and a half am I only realising this now?
But I take comfort in the fact that it’s not him, or the fact that we’re not together that is upsetting me. It’s to do with me. And the way that poisonous people can affect me. He was poison. I was addicted, and couldn’t let go. I won’t let this happen to me again. I won’t come anywhere near a person like that. Ever. I will listen to what my family and my friends tell me, and what I know myself. Because I knew. I always knew. I think I’ve just gotta regain who I am. And remember it this time.
(Source: meowjuana)
People are so fascinating
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(Source: ariannemartell)
(Source: mondohamburgers)
(Source: f4lconpunch)
